Friday, September 16, 2011

A Little Help

So, being mildly obsessed with my NaNo and unable to start writing it, I've been making an uber outline (currenly 13 pages)and (dun, dun, dun-dun) written a synopsis. I've had a lot of trouble with the second part, actually, 'cause I'm not sure how to introduce a fanatasy world without making it sound completely lame (even though it's not).

I was hoping you guys could give me some feedback on the following, ie: is it any good? Would you want to read this book? Is it way too pretentious? Is it confusing? Does it flow ok? Or if you have any other comments you want to throw in there, they'd be more than welcome as well.

Foxes and rabbits don't get along

Someone wants Minty dead and she can't remember why; she can't remember anything. The mysterious event that caused her amnesia has left her horribly disfigured and she finds herself lost and alone during a tumultuous time.

The dreamworld is in chaos. Social media has started people dreaming about places they've never been and there's barely enough space to contain their misconceptions. With nearly seven billion people sleeping through the night, Nod is at full capacity.

Now underground rings of big game hunters are inducing comas to get into Nod – and turn its inhabitants into their prey.

Behind everything is the Dust, the life-force of the soul and the most potent drug in existence. Everyone has some, but many want more – and will stop at nothing to get it.

I'd really appreciate any help you could give me. Thanks!


E said...

I'm a little confused as to how the "foxes and rabbits" quote fits in, and why dreaming of places you've never been is such a huge problem now, when people have been doing it for millennia. Other than that, though, it sounds like an interesting story, and I'd definitely read on, if only to find out how Minty fits into all of this.

Athena said...


I`ve was wondering if that paragraph needed to be made a little clearer... will have to do that and work out a way to keep it short.

The foxes and rabbits thing makes sense once you start reading the story, but it`s not really necessary to the synopsis, so if it doesn`t work I can always cut it.

Thanks for your help!