Craven
Lorne paced in the field. He had been walking for hours, it seemed,
trying to clear his head and sort out the plethora of thoughts that
pushed their way back in. He had, he had thought, resigned himself
to the idea that Voss favoured Minty over him. He had even gone so
far as to do everything in his power to help Voss win her and to
assure his friend that she would, eventually, see sense.
But
he couldn't do it anymore. The simple truth was that Craven Lorne
was in love with Voss and it was no longer in his power to deny his
feelings or do anything else that would jeopardize them.
And
anyway, Craven reasoned, Voss deserved better than some stuck-up
rabbit girl who barely gave either one of them the time of day.
Craven
was, he had decided, going to tell Voss all of this, just as soon as
he could find him. He felt dizzy, sick to his stomach, feverish,
even, at the idea. But there was another emotion too, a feeling of
calm and complacency, which came with the knowledge that he was about
to lay himself bare. And a small part of him, a very small part of
him, could almost smile and believe that Voss would return his
feelings.
Voss,
either fortunately or unfortunately, could not be found. Craven
Lorne checked all of his usual haunts, the factories, the starlight
club, Sunday afternoon, all to no avail. Every time Craven searched
somewhere in vain, he was pure ambivalence: crushing disappointment
and soaring relief. Eventually, he found himself in the field,
staring at the large shade tree they had so often shared a bottle of
wine under – and almost allowing himself to enjoy the breeze.
Craven
stayed in the field for a long time, caught between thinking of how
he would tell Voss about his feelings and wondering if he should. He
looked around a the pale blue sky and green grass and the soft,
dusty, tan path that ran over the field and asked himself, more than
once, what he was hoping to achieve. After what seemed like an
eternity and may have been a moment, Craven Lorne decided to return
home. There was nothing, he realized, for him here.
Craven
walked to the edge of the field, toward the forest. He told himself
that it was a nice day for a stroll, that the fresh air would do him
good. He told himself anything he could think of to bolster his
spirits.
It
was morning, warm and sunshiny. Soft yellow light filtered through
the trees and glinted off the wallow gnats that were flying in lazy
circles near to the ground. And there was something else, the
feeling that nearby, somewhere, was a stream or a spring. Craven
couldn't hear it, but he could feel it. If it had been any other
day, if Craven had been there for any other reason, he might have
actually enjoyed himself, or been impressed by the pleasantness of
the day. As it was, the only reason he was able to force himself to
keep walking, was that if he stood still, he would start to think too
much.
Craven
Lorne hadn't been walking in the forest very long when he found Voss.
And Voss, as Craven suddenly realized he had been expecting all
along, was not alone.
Craven's
body had turned away before his brain could fully comprehend what he
had seen. In the moment that he turned, he could see everything,
imagine every sickening detail. Voss was on top of her, wearing
nothing but his mask and she—She was still in her dress,
lying on her front, motionless, making the most of each of Voss's
thrusts and silent through his grunts and moans.
Craven was sure she
had looked right at him, taunting him with her big, blue
eyes.
Craven
was disgusted, horrified, mortified. He couldn't believe that
he had even let himself hope that Voss might return his
feelings and he was astounded by the fact that Minty had been playing
games with Voss this whole time, toying with his delicate heart then
using his tenderness to her advantage. And though Craven didn't
realize it himself, he was infuriated with Voss for falling into
Minty's trap – and for not seeing what had been right in front of
him all along.
Craven
Lorne decided to confront them both, to make them share the pain that
they had caused him. He fought with himself to muster the courage,
took a deep breath and tried to turn.
There
was a light, bright white, that lit up the trees in front of Craven
and nearly made him blind. It was just a flash and he was barely
able to register it before he was knocked down from behind by a
strong surge of air.
Craven
Lorne pried his face out of the impression it had left in the earth
and almost began to brush the evergreen needles from his face and
clothes before he remembered everything that had happened to bring
him to where he was. He scrambled to his feet, turned and hurried to
where Voss lay.
Voss
was lying on his back, completely still, in a circle of flattened
grass, bathed in moonlight, exposed and bleeding dust. Minty, that
horrible fiend of a rabbit, had run away and left him there. Craven
wanted to weep when he saw the state that Voss was in. When he
examined him more closely, Craven found that Voss had been severely
burned in several places on his body, most especially over his
once-perfect lips, which were now melted and malformed.
He was barely
conscious and murmuring slightly, but not saying anything coherent.
There
was no doubt in Craven Lorne's mind that the explosion was caused by
Minty. She had too much Dust, more than was natural, and she clearly
had no idea how to control it. She and Voss should never have gotten
so near each other; that much Dust in one place could only lead to
bad things. And she, the coward, had left Craven to deal with the
consequences of her own inadequacies.
Craven
helped Voss to his feet, and when Voss's clothes couldn't be found,
offered him his own. Slowly, with Craven Lorne standing in for a
crutch, they made it somewhere they could talk. But they didn't
talk, not properly, not ever again.
If you enjoyed reading this, stop by next week for another instalment. You may also like my published novel, Aigaion Girl ... a story of the end of days, available
here.